im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
well you can't waste a boner
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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