god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
