Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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