the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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