Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
