i need an iv and a liver transplant
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dicks are not precious.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
