how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
