Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize