she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
