when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
