yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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