So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
