Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
