this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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