somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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