i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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