i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize