Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
