I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
