I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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