I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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