New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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