But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
