Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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