Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
