Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize