Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
