i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
