You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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