...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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