My room smells like vodka and shame
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
And then he peed in my hair
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