The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think pants incapable of making pants work
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
