Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool

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(850): View more from Florida

best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!

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(512): View more from Texas

dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf

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(574): View more from Indiana

he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour

(513): View more from Ohio

its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem

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(816): View more from Missouri

She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.

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(443): View more from Maryland

WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.

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(607): View more from New York

oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.

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