You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
