just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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