is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
