She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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