i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
