Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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