I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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