Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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