in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
