I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
