the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
