Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it was like eating out sand paper
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
my liver is dry heaving
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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