I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
