And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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