The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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