they need to just BURY HIM!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize