omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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