Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
