Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
