i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
