Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
