Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
