..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
