that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
