I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Dear god my vagina.
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