There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
