I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize