im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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