got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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