Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
