Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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