wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
