happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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